we have officially lost it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
