So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
