We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
being pregnant is like rehab
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
