its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
