yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
