My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
