the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
