I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
