hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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