ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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