You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
