Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
