I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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