everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
