I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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