I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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