Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
