I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize