You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
