Why are handjobs necessary in class?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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