Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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