Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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