I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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