the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
