As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
