I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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