Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
well you can't waste a boner
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
