My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
