Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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