saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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