maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize