I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We left the knife in your bed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
