so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
