Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
