$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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