i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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