After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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