The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
