I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
