Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
