She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize