I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
