she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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