I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
