Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
