Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
