She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
