We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize