do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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