ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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