You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
