My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
