Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
