Kareoke will never be a sober sport
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
