is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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