Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
