Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I AM VODKA MAN
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
