can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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