Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
