I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
