she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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