It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize