if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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