He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
