Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
home. puking in laundry basket.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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