Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
