I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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