i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
