i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
