The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
where does the pee come out of this thing
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
