Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
