I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
