I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
