haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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