I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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