yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
