I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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