he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
